I am doing more laundry and thinking… and smiling. We have our drama, everyone does. There were times this week I was afraid of a four way split but we got through it. A basic run down would be feelings were hurt and communicated poorly, things were said wrong or not understood correctly and emotions were high so some things got said that never should have been said. Same as a monogamous relationship but with more people involved. What makes me tell you this? Well, because it shows we are “normal people”. It also never left this house. Now that it is over I have no problem talking about it but I didn’t run to Facebook or call up my friends and family. That’s the difference between drama and life. On my quest of deprogramming myself and being myself I put all my jewelry I had made to see in MY jewelry box and I am keeping it for me. I love it. I think as a kid I was sometimes told “so and so is better at drawing than you”. I sadly believed it, believing talent could truly be measured. I would pick up an instrument and get frustrated. My outlook on life has changed so much. I draw because I enjoy drawing and some people think I am good. Recently I have taken up the ukelele and I am pretty good for someone who has tried to play guitar for years. I can sing and there has never been a doubt that I am good. It gave me a big head. “I am better than so and so”. I just wonder why? Voices and styles vary so much. Why is someone better than the next and so on. That isn’t what art and talent are about. I am talented. Everyone has their talents. People may appreciate some else’s talents more but that doesn’t make anyone more or less talented. I know I’m not consistent. I am sorry. I’m changing to the butterfly I was always meant to be. It takes energy and work on top of having my wonderful, beautiful, family and getting ready for the new baby.
When the World Tumbles Down