Because They Love Me

I have never been through or known the intolerance I have known until I came out as poly.  My family is supportive.  That’s just who they are.  Even my non immediate family who are very strong into church and DO NOT agree are supportive, kind people.  I met some family who are not so wonderful.  It’s hard for a person like me to wrap my head around.  It hurt.  Because I love them.  There thoughts on me alone usually wouldn’t bother me but I love these people and I was raised that once you love someone, even as a friend your family was theirs and vise versa.  I fell in love with a man who’s family mistakenly believe that God wants you to turn your back on people if they don’t live to his standards.  Not a big fan of Christianity as of lately, but I have read the bible I don’t believe he ever says to turn your back on sinners…But whatever.  Like I said, I do have family that doesn’t agree but they love anyway and don’t judge.  My immediate family have all been uber supportive.  It doesn’t bother me like it used to.  I am still grateful overall to these people.  They created a great man.  I love him.

You never see it unless you look.  I was the type who never saw love.  My husband and I used to fight a lot but I just knew he loved me.  My mom and siblings, I knew they loved me.  These are all people that may have loved me but I felt HAD to deal with me on the same level.  It doesn’t take it away from them, but they were the only people I believed did truly love me.  People that HAD to.  (People may wonder why I feel that way about my husband, to clarify, I don’t any longer.  At the time we were so young when we got together we were totally codependent on the other.)  I met my metamour and lover.  At anytime they could have asked us to go.  They won’t.

My lover made this special blend of coffee that takes forever to brew.  It has cocoa and cinnamon in it because we bought generic for the can (yes they all smoke so the can is where the butts go outside and our other can is rusty.) and I dislike it but was needing coffee, so he did that.  He also puts up with my teasing because I am a meanie.  He does pretty much everything I ask.  I try not to ask too much but my husband calls it the sonic whip crack.  He is so sweet and kind one second and evil and mean the next.  I love it.  But his true kind nature always shows when he can’t tell if I am joking or not.  He has taken care of all of us this past year with no complaint and when I said I could never repay him he says that he can never repay me.  We watch anime almost every night together.  Right now it’s R.O.D.

My metamour she and I do almost everything together.  You know how you see those two girls in high school and wish you had a friendship like that, I finally do and I have been looking every since my bff moved away as a child.  She on her own merit could do that but with the lovers in common it just adds to it, one more thing we share.  We do get irritated with each other but overall it’s a small piece in the big puzzle.  I love her as much as I love the men.  We both say we couldn’t do this without the other.  She and I are also opposites and the same.  I like to be all girlyfied, and she has her moments but she is more of a relaxed scrub.  I like high heels, she hates anything besides her flip flops.  I’m a freaky prude she is a shy freak.  It works especially in parenting.  She is the hover mom Nazi (she is working on it) I am the “kids are outside?” oblivious book reading mom (I’m working on it) but together that’s why we work.  By the way she doesn’t like that special blend of coffee her husband made me, but she will deal with it for me.

What can I say about my husband.  We know EVERYTHING about each other and we still can stand each other lol.  That I guess can be a first.  We have been together 17 years and I am 30.  We were babies when we met.  I can give him a look and he just gets it.  When I am in a mood and tell everyone I am fine he knows better and that can be frustrating when you can still fool everyone else in the house.  When I am being ridiculous he tells me so and he tells me why.  He comes off as such a hardass but you it’s a mask to protect his softie side.  The other day we were going to his sister’s house and we stopped at a gas station and he bought me a lighter.  I don’t smoke but I like lighters, I always have and the funny thing is I had been eyeing them for a bit but couldn’t justify buying one and the one he found was just me.  I still will use it, I like candles and incense and I asked him for nothing.  It’s a lighter, sure but in a house full of smokers who smoke outside you try to find one.  This is MY lighter.

My point with the small things are they count and they do these things because they love me.  I love them all with everything I am.  This is why I start working in two days for a company I said I would never work for ever again.  Financially we are ok but there is a baby coming in a few weeks and that can be pricey and we need another vehicle, preferably a van.  I am actually looking forward to working and for said company.  I know the work and I am good at it and it can be fun if you let it.  I don’t plan on being stuck there forever, it’s not my cup of tea, though maybe it’s fine for some people but with my husband going to school in the fall and the baby here any day, the other car is a necessity and my Lover shouldn’t have to do all this alone and I rather like living comfortably.

I will try and keep up with this, but it’s more about my adventures and my families’ adventures than anything.  That is just who we are.  I will be posting our laundry soap recipe today or tomorrow with pictures.  We have started it but metamour is nesting….so I have to wait for her to be on task lol.

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