How not to have a toxic ex.  

Recently I discovered it’s pretty normal to not be friends go with your ex (excluding John, he’s not my friend, he is Family).  Will is still family, and we aren’t friends, but we are amiable.  It’s easy to be angry, but if you really try it’s easier to just not be.  I could try and list all the reasons he “failed”  me OR I could try to think of where he succeeded and what I’ve taken away from this.  Will is the first person that since I was a young child gave me stability and financially took care of me.  I got my first job at 14, not because I wanted (I did enjoy extra money) but I had to!  I would miss school before I missed work.  With Will, I still worked, but if I got sick and missed a week, it was fine.  If I were seriously mistreated, I could quit.  Will took care of me, Hannah, everyone!  He didn’t have to, but he did!  I know it’s not a normal thing, a person should take care of themselves, I already knew that BUT from this relationship I learned that I should be able to depend on my partner to be able to pick up slack temporarily (aka maternity leave).

John and I spanned 19 years together.  The valuable life lessons, good and bad would take forever to list.  I understand that people often HATE their long term exes but I don’t know how.  John and I, not at the very end, but maybe 7-3 years before we split were downright nasty to each other to the point that though we loved each other in the end (we probably always will) we were still just friends TRYING….. ERRR…. FAILING….. to get along.  But it was much smoother than those listed years.  I’m still going to say the biggest thing I learned from that relationship was to just let go and stop fighting.  We both held on too long and the damage was too insurmountable to overcome.  I’m happy with how things are between us now. 

What has your ex taught you.  What good did they do you?

Maybe I should do this with all former relationships (like friendships) but Idk it’s easier to remove a knife from your heart than your back. 


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