Always Busy

My hours at work are killers.  I just started two weeks ago and I am up to full time already.  I really need new shoes.  They are VERY understanding of my pregnancy and I am already working on my maternity leave.  Eventually I will get where I need to be, but I feel like I have learned a lot the last few weeks.  The money is good, like really good.  However the bank I am working at doesn’t have normal bank hours and I will always work holidays except Christmas.  Going to school, I am using this as a stepping stone to something else and just telling myself this isn’t permanent.  I like the actual job, the people are nice enough, just the hours.

My pregnancy isn’t going well, but it isn’t going poorly either.  I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and it sucks.  I have had to monitor my sugar before but this is crazy.  They are much stricter and I have never been high for no reason.  For example, last night I was at a party so I ate like crap.  I figured, ok, my sugar is going to be high.  It wasn’t.  No, I didn’t eat a thing after this and my sugar continued to rise and my blood sugar ended up being 104 and it’s not supposed to be over 90 in the morning, and especially not over 100.  It’s been up and down all day because of last night and I haven’t felt well.  So one meal that wasn’t so good ended up being a whole day.

David’s mother sent us a bunch of stuff with his dad from Fl when he had to come up here over last weekend.  We are pretty much set on Newborn clothes, we could use a little more 0-3 and 3-6 and of course anything higher would be nice but I am not in a huge hurry to think of my baby being a year old when she isn’t even here yet.  I might get a few NB sleepers, some WWE gear, and a tie dye onsie in every size I can get.  We are also almost set on the big stuff.  I want a nice stroller, a swing, and I need a baby bath.  I could buy more crib sheets and I want a cute baby towel, the rest is going to be diapers, wipes, formula, and supplies.

So I was going to cloth diaper, but that’s not happening.  I am not going to be the one home with her so I feel it is unfair of me to cloth diaper.  And a controversial decision is I am not breastfeeding and I am ok with it.  I wanted to breastfeed but for so many reasons it’s not right for us, but the most important is I need to go back onto my mental health medications asap and they aren’t reccomended to breastfeeding women and it’s important to know your own limitations and know what is best for your family.  If I don’t take care of myself I cannot take care of my family.  There are other things too, like my work hours and babies sleeping through the night earlier when formula fed.

School…Well I dropped 2 classes and went down to part time.  I couldn’t handle the load.  People say it’s going to be worse when the baby is born but not really.  Right now, David doesn’t have his license and we both have appointments constantly and Hannah has them too.  It’s just non stop.  My appointments will slow down, babies will slow down by the time I go back to work, I do have help with Hannah if it’s needed (Her father and their family) And I don’t plan on going in the summer so I can get a feel if I can do this or not.  I know I am at least going in the fall for the school money if nothing else.  Right now I am not thinking beyond going back to work after maternity leave or I will drive myself crazy.